A Suicide Note in Crayons – Arsha Bijer, Kerala

Dear Pappa,
Today I turned nine!
It was a colourful Birthday.
The cake was too yummy ,
And I liked the crayons you gifted .

This note is to let you know
How much I grew up!
Am not a small kid anymore,
To play with these colours

This is about a new game –
Offered by a beast ,
Who has been your long time friend .
He taught me the foremost lessons –
When I was in class two !

It was not harder those times ;
Until I felt his weight pulling me down!
And drowning in the ocean .
It was the pain gobbled me in ;
More than that when you –
pierced my ears for the first time .

I was knotting my barbies hair ,
When he dragged me to the grange .
He seemed like the churl in grannies story !
He gabbled and smiled ;
When the game was over .

My sunken eyes betrayed for help.
He cautioned to shut my mouth!
All what he yelled scared –
me to seal up my words .

I do not wish ever to escape ;
Until he forced himself on me!
There was no stripes of providence,
That could bind me from him .

You could have gifted an armour –
Instead of these colours pappa !
You could have gifted a dog –
Tho I can protect myself from strangers !
You could have gifted me knife –
Tho I can save myself from that wolf!

Time to say goodbye!
Now a days it is very hard –
to castoff the wounds,
Which needs more time to heal .

And you know one thing?
A world is there in between my legs-
Where girls are not safe !
It seemed like a bitter prayer,
That finally answered!

Aarsha Bijer is a poet from Bangalore. Basically a Keralite, she aspired to become a poet one day. A lovely house wife with a kid & A digital Marketer by profession. Bijer is husband who is an emerging entrepreneur. Her journey of writing started at the age of 11 and it has grown along as a passion and a stress reliever.