Insecurities – Akshata Pawan Jaiswal, Maharashtra


images1I looked over tarishi’s photo in the newspaper. Headlines read about the massacre happened in a cafe in Bangladesh. I again peered at her picture. Perhaps a 19 year old teen. Just about my age. A chill ran up ma spin. What if it have happened with me. ” Naah” I brushed off the thought. She didn’t deserve this. And neither of the 19 year old teen deserved.

Next day, newspapers carried information about the people who were responsible for this. Five terrorist were responsible for this merciless act. Newspaper showed their pictures. Red and white checks scarf over their head, a long green kurta and a terrific weapon in hands. A peculiar thing about them was their faces. They smiled brightly as if posing for an F.B profile. ‘How could they?’ I asked myself knowing I would never be answered. Because answers were the brutal truths and I don’t wanted to dig them up.

Below their pictures were their ages and a small biography, enough to understand their pre-terror lives. These 5 people were around 18-23 age range. On investigating their computers and personal belongings showed they were influenced since one or two years.

I looked over my younger brother who was busy with a game on his cell phone. He just passed his SSC and was on a vacation. He is young , intelligent, irrational and rebellious , quite suitable to begin a terror life. ” What the hell am thinking!! Why am doubting over my own people??” I scolded myself.” At least I should check his phone ” hoping not to find any such things. You can hardly trust a social media geek.

” When I found him asleep , I checked his F.B account. Phew!! All chats were a mere discussion about colleges. I even checked his friend list. Of course I hardly knew any of them. Just one or two familiar names. I checked his Muslim friends. “Am I a over possessive sister?” I questioned myself. Next day I found him laughing over a joke. I asked him, ” with whom are you chatting?”

“Oh just a group over clash of clans!!”

All of a sudden I remembered him saying,”I have joined a Bangladeshi group over clash of clans. Man they are fun!!”

And something pircked me. BANGLADESHI!! How am I supposed to alert him? Will he mind me judging him? Will I be declared as a narrow minded person? Though at evening he told he left the clan but I was still anxious. Unaware of the game how am supposed to peek over his chats?

Well am still not answered but that doesn’t stop me from questioning. Faces of those 5 teens as terrorist flashed over my eyes!! Was I supposed to continue doubting my own brother? Am I supposed to look this youthful generation with suspicious eyes?

Well I realise, somewhere we are losing our trust over each other. Somewhere doubting the innocent faces. Not trusting our own society. Doubting each other’s religion, blaming them. It was like bunch of people living in a single house where a crime had happened without knowing who’s the culprit!! Simply insecured.

“How am supposed to wish ‘EID MUBARAK’ with such in securities??”


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